King Of Fire!

As soon as I made a decision to digest the missing 10 weeks, the wind decided to blow me in another direction towards my destiny.

Just like that. Out of nowhere. My casual stroll turned into a magnetic pull.

I met a man. THE KING OF FIRE.

He entered my life on the exact day that Doreen predicted. And if her card reading for this week is anything like the one from the previous week, I may just be done with the seeking part of my love journey.

This weekend may just be the beginning of my SOULMATE RELATIONSHIP…..<3<3

Stay tuned…

I’m BACK!

I wish I could say the reason I haven’t blogged for such a long time was due to the lack of material, but it’s not. My online dating experiences in the past 10 weeks have been colorful, courageous, crazy, comical and captivating! AND chock-full of a wide range of characters to say the least!

I also think my lull in writing had to do with a certain man who really knocked the wind out of my sails, momentarily. My emotions were so raw I just couldn’t dig in to divulging that story just yet.

And if that wasn’t enough, another man that I never really had closure with showed up at the same bar as me with a date who happened to be a former client of mine. I felt punched in the stomach and stabbed in the heart not once, but twice in same week.

I was really starting to feel pissed off at the Universe for playing this cruel joke on me. For real. I was completely devastated.

And all this drama unfolded just before my 39th birthday. Which is always a reflective time for me, but for someone approaching 40 and still single, it was especially reflective and down right heart breaking. I just didn’t get it. Why was I attracting that kind of slap in the face? What was I supposed to learn from that experience? How could I better handle things in the future so I didn’t have to go through that kind of pain again?

But time always heals.

So, here I am again. I’m back and ready to document! I’ve got some catching up to do, but I know in the end, it will all be worth the time and effort to document the past 10 weeks and to bring you up to speed on this crazy roller coaster of a ride I have been on.

Ask and You Shall Receive

Message from Abraham:

“No matter what it is, if you really want it and if you get out of the way of it, it will happen. It must be. It is Law. It can be no other way. It’s the way this Universe is established. If you want it and you relax, it will happen.”

Dear God,
Please bless me with an incredible man, life partner, loving soul, best friend, biggest cheerleader, protector and rock, amazing lover and fantastic cook. I ask for this or something greater! Please and thank you!
And it is so!
Amen!
Aho!

PS
Please help me let go of those men who do not serve my greatest good. Please help me get out of my own way. Please help me relax and have faith it’s already done and we will meet without delay.

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Feelin’ the Love!

Found this pretty bouquet of flowers in a heart shaped vase at my doorstep when I got home yesterday. Made my day! It turns out it wasn’t from a secret admirer or even a guy, but it was still a lovely gift.

I’m grateful for the love whenever it comes my way and from whomever it comes from.

It made me realize that this journey to find my one true love has been a rough road, but that does not mean I am not loved or lovable. I have amazing people in my life who adore me and see me as this loving, caring, deep feeling, radiant soul who brings light wherever I go. And they love me just as I am. Just as I am right now. What an incredible gift!

I don’t need a man to show me that I am worthy of love. I know I am going to be happy with or without a man in my life. But it is the fact that my journey is so sweet that makes my heart ache for that partner to share it with. That’s the reason why I continue to seek out that soul mate connection. I want to find that special someone who can hold my hand and without fear say, “Let’s DO this together. Let’s share our gifts, our love, our joy with the world.”

Because the world sure needs more people who are willing to love no matter what the cost.

As many times as I have fallen down I have always been that kind of woman who has been able to lick her wounds, pick herself up and try, try again.

The true essence of life is really about the journey, not the destination. And I’ll ride that wave and give it all I’ve got till the day I die.

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Mr. Professor

It seems like this date happened ages ago, but in true documentation style, I can’t leave it out! And unbeknownst to me, it truly is a pivotal date. If it wasn’t for Mr. Professor, I wouldn’t have experienced a man that was about to ROCK my world.

Fresh off my trip from Vegas, Mr. Professor showed up at my place on a Tuesday evening (July 15) to pick me up for our date. When I first saw him, I liked his height and his dress, but there was a professor dorkiness to him that made him appear less confident than his Tinder pics. He had a great smile though and I was eager to finally connect in person since our texting was such a great experience.

It was a nice night, so we started our walk downtown. When we were about a block away from my house, he points across the road and says that’s where his college daughter lives. Yikes! He was 48, so I get it, but that was a little close to home! Crazy connection.

On our way to Sushi, we make a pit-stop at a pub with a huge array of draft beer selections. I knew Mr. Professor had a love of IPA’s so I thought it would be a great place to land for a drink. We saddle up to the bar and just as we sit down he excuses himself to use the restroom. When he comes back, he ends up sitting one chair over from me. I was like, ok, that’s odd. His body language was leading me to believe he was nervous. He was a bit awkward, I could tell he hadn’t dated in 20 years. Poor guy. But for some reason I wanted to make him feel at ease. From what he had shared with me about his ex, he needed a little TLC. He ended up moving closer to me once he realized he was so far away. Silly guy.

One thing he did that kinda took me by surprise was his request to the bartender just as we sat down. He asked with total sincerity if the bartender could put a napkin over the retro peanut dispenser. The bartender kind of chuckled it off and did his best to steer the comment into a lighthearted conversation, but I could tell Mr. Professor was serious. I asked him if it was because he worked with food and the science behind preservatives and things like that. But he shrugged it off and denied that he had any food phobias due to his line of work. So maybe he was just hungry and didn’t want to eat before we got sushi? Whateves, I went with the flow on that one.

When we sit down for sushi, again, his body language was distant. His knees were pointing out even though all my body parts were facing him. We had some great sushi and quite a few cocktails. He was awkward, but I could tell he was just out of practice. I was only his second date after a 21-year marriage. After a few drinks he started to relax and the conversation definitely flowed more, but it felt more like the friend zone. He was open, honest and raw, but it was almost like I was his therapist not his date.

He pays for dinner – bonus! – then we proceed to another bar for a few more drinks. We sat much more closer together at the bar this time around. We pull out pictures from our phone and share.  It was a good game of show and tell. My knee was folded over my leg and was rubbing on his leg. I could tell he noticed, but no bold moves on his end.

We finally close out the place and head back to my place. It was a beautiful night so we sat on my porch. Right away he moves his chair to sit right across from me and puts my feet on his chest. It was a bold move and I liked that. We talk and laugh and carry on. I offered to give him a back rub so he slides over to me and sits on the ground. I could tell he needed the touch. Who doesn’t, really? I think we all starve for it. He had nice smooth skin.

It was getting late so we moved inside. We proceed to my bedroom where he announces, we are just going to mess around…meaning no sex. Alright, Mr. Professor, whatever you say. It was just a bit awkward to announce his intention. I think he was completely freaked out about the whole situation. For over 20 years, he had only touched his wife. I couldn’t imagine. But I was comfortable with just making out.

Then he pulls out some dual action massage gel and asks to rub my bare back. It was nice, but that shit he was rubbing on me was nasty. I don’t need stimulating aromas to get me aroused. It was quite clear I was working with a rookie. Messing around was nice but felt emotionally void. In all honesty, I kinda just felt like throwing this guy a bone. He had been through a lot. I’m such a sucker for those emotionally wounded men.

It was pretty late when we passed out. I woke up at 4am to his horrendous snoring. I ended up going to my couch and feeling a bit annoyed that he had stayed over. I tried to get back to sleep but soon I was watching the sun rise. It was in that moment that I decided that this wasn’t going to go far. He was a nice guy with a good heart, but we just weren’t a match.

So I decided to move on and get on Facebook and accept Mr. Magnetic’s request right then and there. I was so curious about this guy! And now I wouldn’t have to worry about it making things weird between Mr. Professor and I. Who knew that friend request would turn into so much more! I had no idea what was coming….

Mr. Professor and I ended things on a good note and continue to remain Facebook friends…

When it’s hot it’s HOT!

I have so much to report. My travels to Vegas did not disappoint! And omg, SO much has happened SINCE Vegas! But I need to fill you in because it’s all part of where I am now. So let’s rewind for a bit to the day I flew to Vegas…that would be 4 weeks ago yesterday.

I drove to a nearby city to catch my flight. Before I even get to the airport, I excitedly log onto to my Tinder account to find a whole new crop of men to swipe. I love that Tinder only gives you a 100 mile radius. It makes me excited to travel elsewhere and see what shows up when I get out of my normal local range.

The first man that pops up is good looking in a clean-cut kinda way, with a great warm smile, tall lanky body type. Let’s call him, Mr. Professor. The adventure with Mr. Professor started over an IPA at the airport as I waited for my first flight to Vegas.

I chat him up after I get the go ahead from Tinder that we are a Match! He chats me up right back and pursue a back and forth rapport quite quickly. He is smart, quick and witty not to mention a great sense of humor…on text. ;o) He asks me about where he might find a good place to grab an IPA…then I mention I am just traveling through town on my way to Vegas. Odd enough he was in my town the day before and thinks that’s where he must have “picked me up.” Love it! Interesting synchronicity! I had logged onto my account the night he was here, but he would have been out of range by then. I am in his range the next day, so he shows up on my radar as a match! Too funny. More on Mr. Prof in a moment…

Mr. Spirituality – So my layover just happens to be in the same state as spiritual match. It’s so crazy to think that we are so close, but so far away. I had been thinking about him a lot after he sent me another sweet and tender email…full of depth and richness that fills my heart and soul. I can tell this guy has so much to give and he so deserves BIG love…from what I know of him! I can tell we are both heart centered individuals so much so that I can tell our vibrations do mesh even from a distance. It’s just a bummer that I can’t picture myself with a guy smaller than me. I appreciate his attention though and I want to give him the respect he deserves. It would be super awesome to meet him one day and I secretly fantasized about getting stuck at the airport and sneaking a visit in. Unfortunately, my layover led me to more Tinder matches from the area and even real people connections at the airport gate.

Mr. Coincidence – SUPER interesting connection with a younger guy who happened to be waiting for the same flight to Vegas from my layover city. He actually started conversing with the guy next to me. As I Tindered my time away I happened to pick up on part of their conversation. For some reason I ended up learning that he was from my home state originally and had relocated to Las Vegas and was currently living and working there. BUT it turns out that his cousins still lived in my hometown and started to rattle off their names. It turned out that his one cousin and I went to elementary school together! I told him how this guy obviously had a school grade crush on me back in the day because he would trade me his super awesome markers for my artwork. What a trip down memory lane! THEN, the other cousin happened to be a Facebook friend of mine! He was a guy I never met but had accepted his friend request a while back. We had photo friends in common so I added him. I think we may have chatted back and forth at some point, but that was about it. And the CRAZY twist on that is my friend in town who is on OKC had met him fairly recently and told me all about their amazing hook-ups! WHAT a small world! It boggles my mind! Once Mr. Coincidence and I established our interesting connections he seemed to get a little more friendlier with me. He sat down next to me and started being more flirty. He asked how long I was in Vegas and we friended each other on Facebook. We even exchanged numbers thinking we might be able to meet up one night when I was there. However, I sent him a text as I was getting off the plane in Vegas to see how he was getting home and he never replied back. No biggie. I was simultaneously chatting up a guy near my layover area.

Mr. Outside the Box – Matched with a cute guy on Tinder with a diverse amount of pics that showed a flavorful and adventurous lifestyle. I loved what he had to share about his international travel aspirations as well his happy disposition and good vibe nature. It was slow going as I was a little preoccupied with the guy sitting next to me, Mr. Coincidence. Mr. Coincidence was cute, but not really my type so I didn’t feel that committed to our conversation. I kind of derailed our conversation by getting in my section line before boarding. He was in a different section so I had some more time on my phone before I had to go on airplane mode. So Mr. Outside the Box and I converse about traveling and some other small talk. Then he throws me for a loop and tells me his is married. I was like, ok, interesting. It turns out that he is 85% happy in his marriage but is seeking some other things that he is not getting out of his marriage….and it wasn’t all about S-E-X. He intrigued me, but ultimately, he couldn’t keep my attention for long.

Mr. Rebound – I posted a new profile pic to my Facebook and shortly after, this guy sends me a private message with, “very pretty.” I honestly had to look at his profile pic to see who he was! I didn’t recognize the name. Then when I figured it out, I was like, “what what?!?” I had a crush on this dude back in February. At the time, I put myself out there and tried to talk to him at a bar where we had gathered with some mutual friends, but he seemed disinterested. When I friended him back in February after that gathering, I tried to check him out and it appeared he had a girlfriend, but it was hard to tell. He definitely had a kid, but I couldn’t tell much else. I find him to be totally my type and very attractive, so I wrote back and said thanks for the compliment. Since he knew I was traveling, he said we should get together once I got back to town. I ended up giving him my number and not too much time passes before he sends a text. We chit chat for a bit but then I focused on being poolside in Vegas and that was the end of that. He did hit me up once I got back into town, but we are still two hours apart, so nothing has happened so far.

Mr. Cockadoo – Another Tinder find. I swear, the men on Tinder while in Vegas must just say yes to everything that crosses their path to see if they can get a hook up because every hot guy I swiped right on was a match! I would do that in my home town and most were never a match. Go figure. So this guy was interesting. I ended up chatting back and forth and attempted to get together but our schedules just wouldn’t jive. His chatter was pretty sexual, I could tell he was just looking for play. We did exchange numbers however and he would text each day. On the last night there he asks me if I want to see him. I’m like in person or a pic? Because I knew at this point, it wasn’t going to happen in person. I told him I was leaving in the morning so I was like, ok, send me a pic. So I’m sitting with a group of friends and all of a sudden I see this massive hard cock shot on my phone screen. Wowsers! And then he sends a completely different one! Clearly he has these on file ready to spring on his next prospect. The sad thing is, I never sent him anything back nor did I intend to and the guy even tried to see if I was still in town the next morning as I was checking in for my flight. Oy vey!

Mr. Comedy – This guy needs to get laid. I have no idea why he keeps texting me. Sure, we had a great connection, enjoyed our time together and even made out before I said good-night, but surely he could find something closer to home. He really wanted to attempt another get-together. I’m flattered, but I had way too much going on to reach that far away for some TLC. Besides, I think we are looking for two totally different things. I’ll keep him as a fond memory though!

Mr. Feminist – He hits me up while I was in Vegas and thought he might be in my town the weekend after I got back. It was cool to hear from him. I think he is just a little slow to go though. Perhaps he has a constant rotation of ladies himself? Nice enough guy, but I was looking forward to meeting Mr. Professor in all honesty.

Speaking of….let’s go back to Mr. Professor for a minute. So over the few days I was in Vegas, Mr. Professor and I were texting up a storm. We had our date set for the Tuesday after my flight back home on Monday. He was going to travel to see me and we were going to meet sooner than later. All promising signs. He was very appealing to me. I was feeling very hopeful about this one. I was really enjoying our connection and he felt grounded and real to me. Such a breath of fresh air. He even inspired a new Facebook profile pic from me.

When I feel good inside, it radiates in my photos. As soon as I posted that pic, it was as if the lurkers made themselves known. It always does a girls ego good to get 75 plus likes on your photo, but there was a “like” that kinda caught my eye and it was hard to look away. The crazy part, it was from a guy that I was not even “friends” with on Facebook. Which was surprising considering I pretty much have my Facebook on lock down. If you aren’t a friend, you see nothing but my profile and cover photo. I clicked on his profile and saw that our only mutual friend with Mr. Professor. Hmmm, interesting. At this point, I hadn’t met Mr. Professor yet and his friend was now liking my pics – the only two photos who could like without being my friend. Do I tell Mr. Professor? Nah, I decided to sit on it. The next day, this Facebook friend of Mr. Professor, let’s call him, Mr. Magnetic sends a friend request. Now, I’m really intrigued. I look at his profile again. Is he married? I see three younger kids, but no wife. I check his status and it tells me nothing. I dig through some more photos but it’s just not clear. Out of respect for Mr. Professor, I didn’t accept the request, but I didn’t dismiss it either. There was something about this man. His eyes, his darker complexion, his symmetrical face, his soft lips. He really drew me in. There was this intensity about him that I couldn’t really explain.

So out of curiosity, I ended up asking Mr. Professor what his deal was. Should I be worried? Does this make things awkward if I accept his request? Mr. Professor was rather forthcoming about it all. He told me that he was a married guy of three and they had attended grad school together. He thought he was a little weird and described an incident about his work that sounded a little shady. And he probably wanted to be my friend because he thought I was “HAWT”…in his humble opinion. LOL. Ok, I digested all that. Kinda felt annoyed by the married part considering he was liking my profile pic, but for some reason, I didn’t dismiss his request. I figured I would re-investigate once I met Mr. Professor and see what went on between the two of us once we met.

My date with Mr. Professor was very near, I wanted to see what this feel good feeling was all about!

Mr. Handsy

Ok, so I am really behind on documenting this journey of mine! Vegas was a TRIP! Last night I finally had some me time to write about all the crazy interesting shenanigans that have been going on in my dating life since I left for that trip , but I wasn’t able to complete it before running out of steam.

I was planning on working on it tonight, but in an interesting turn of events, I ended up agreeing to go on a date with Mr. Handsy. I referenced this guy in the very beginning of my blog/dating journey. He and I met rather quickly after some back and forth on OKC. When we met shortly after our first email, he was way too forward physically and made me feel a bit uncomfortable since he didn’t even take the time to get to know me. At the time, I kinda called him out and that was that.

Fast forward to today. It rained all morning and was pretty cold for July, so I decided to get out of the house and eat breakfast at my favorite diner here in town and drink lots of hot coffee. Afterwards, the rain had subsided and the weather was cool and breezy, inviting me to stroll around downtown. I didn’t have a lot of work on my plate for the day, so I gave myself permission to make a casual day of it.

After strolling around at a couple of my favorite shops, I felt called to go to this card shop that I never shop at. It’s overpriced, but it has the best cards! I was just planning on taking a look around just for fun.

As soon as I walk in I notice Mr. Handsy sitting on a couch looking a big binder with monogram options for note cards. We make eye contact and say hello. I said hi again, making sure he knew that I knew him and even asked if he remembered me. He said, “of course I do” and the conversation went from there. We engaged in some harmless chit chat and then I proceeded to look around the store. He left shortly after and said good-bye before he did.

A couple hours later I get a email from him on OKC. He said “it was good running into me and he was sorry that I never wanted to make-out.” Cute.

When we first met, I was probably a little more guarded and mentally/emotionally sucked in to Mr. Magic Man. But a lot has happened since then and perhaps this was a better time for us to meet again. I told him that I was not opposed to making out, but I thought he was a bit too forward when we met originally and that was a big turn off. I told him you gotta warm up the ladies, I’m no call girl! But yes, it was good to run into again and perhaps the Universe was aligning the moon and stars to give us another chance. Or at least she had a good sense of humor!

He then came back with, “Point taken” and asked for forgiveness and said that at the time he was under a lot of stress, even though that was no excuse, and was just looking to let loose and blow off some steam. And “I was just so so sexy with my hug and all”, he couldn’t resist. He then said as of yesterday that work had settled down and that I could be assured of a calmer, gentler, Mr. Handsy. ;o) And asked if I was available for a beer, he would like to buy me one. He figured I had plans for tonight, but asked if I could find time to meet him for a drink at a local establishment downtown.

I thought about saying no because I really wanted to get my blog caught up and I have a very early day tomorrow, but then I had to ask myself…do I want to stay home and write about my dating life or go on a date with a really hot, sexy man who wants to make-out with me? DUH!

Ok, twist my arm! I said yes, let’s meet for a drink or two, but I can’t get crazy because I have a early day the next day. He was in the same boat so we have plans to meet in a couple of hours!

This shall be interesting!!! I’ll let you know how it goes!